


I’ve Never Known Love

by AvengersReject



Category: American Horror Story, American Horror Story: Apocalypse, Sarah Paulson - Fandom
Genre: F/F, Sarah Paulson - Freeform, american horror story - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-21
Updated: 2019-01-21
Packaged: 2019-10-13 23:05:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,081
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17497082
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AvengersReject/pseuds/AvengersReject
Summary: Ms Venable, the strong woman in charge of Outpost 3, she's only ever known cold emotions and cruel thoughts but it took the world ending and one special person under her rule to make the ice around her heart crack and melt.





	I’ve Never Known Love

"I've never known love. That's something I told myself every time someone flirted, winked, asked me out etc. The concept was always alien to me and I thought that was how it would always be, that was until I met them. A person so beautiful that it's enough to make me choke on my own words, a person who can simply walk into the room and make me go from feeling cold and angry to feeling warm and calm. I don't know why but I feel something different for them, different to the feelings everybody else makes me feel. When someone talks to me I usually immediately feel angry, angry that they're wasting my goddamn time with their shit but with them...they talk to me and I feel...soothed and attentive. I feel the need to listen to every word as if they were the most important words to ever be spoken. They make me question myself, question my own mind, question my own strengths. But why? Why do they do that to me? And why am I so fucking angry at myself for feeling these things?" 

 

Venable sat staring off into the distance while everybody sat around the table talking amongst themselves. She'd been getting lost in thought a lot lately and it was making people feel more relaxed as they could get away with doing certain things when she was zoned out. Suddenly (y/n) came clamouring into the dining area, "Sorry! I'm sorry! I totally lost track of time! I'm so sorry for being late Ms Venable!" They said, trying to catch their breath from running through the bunker. 

Venable snapped out of her thoughts, her eyes on (y/n) as if she were an eagle looking at her prey. Silence filled the room for a while, enough to make it deafening before Venable looked down at her empty plate. "It's fine, take your seat." She said, her voice sounding less harsh than usual. Almost immediately Coco jumped up out of her seat, "wait, why the hell are they allowed special treatment? If any of us were even a second late you'd have us beaten!" She spat furiously. She quickly lost her confidence as the pounding of Venables cane echoed through the room as she stood up, not saying a single word she slowly made her way over to Coco, as the thudding of the cane drew closer, Coco felt more and more fear at what punishment was about to ensue. In a flash Coco felt a sharp sting in her face, Venable had slapped her hard, hard enough to make Coco fall back into her seat. "(Y/n) is not getting any special treatment and if you question my authority again I'll have you thrown out into the wasteland with the puss filled surface dwellers." She said, venom filling each word she said. Meanwhile (y/n) was sat in their seat with wide, guilt ridden eyes, they sat fiddling with a lose bit of skin on their thumb, anxiety filling their body at why Venable was being so different with them. After the exchange between them both Coco sat silently and ate her meal as Venable made her exit and went to her room, the deep thudding of her cane growing more distant. The atmosphere during dinner was tense and everybody felt on edge. 

After dinner (y/n) was approached by one of the Greys and was told that Ms Venable had summoned them. After thanking the Grey they quickly made their way to her room, feeling hesitant before knocking. "Come in." Venables voiced boomed from within the room, (y/n) hadn't even knocked but somehow she knew they were there. They opened the door and sheepishly entered, "close the door behind you." Venable said, (y/n) did as they were told and closed the door after they entered. "Is there a problem Ms Venable?" (Y/n) asked nervously. Venable was stood facing a bookshelf with her fingers brushing along spines of the books on the shelves. She turned around and made her way over to her guest and stopped inches from them. "If it's about dinner I deeply apologise, if there is anyway I can make it up to you I'll gladly do it, I know you're strict on your rules and I don't want the others giving you a hard time if you let me off, please it's my pleasure to do whatever it is you need." (Y/n) explained, they really didn't mind the bunkers strict rules, they thought that discipline was essential given that they were the last people alive who weren't infected with radiation or had any mutations. They also seemed to be the only one in the bunker who had any shred of care for the woman in charge. Venables head cocked to the side with confusion at why they were so accepting of a punishment despite her not uttering a single word. "I don't want to punish you, I do need to do something though." She said, both of her hands resting on her cane as her index finger tapped with the slight anxiety she felt. "Of course, anything Ms Venable, I really respect you and I know how hard you work, not trying to buy you with flattery or anything I just-" (y/n) tried to talk but was cut off as Venable lunged forward and pressed her lips against theirs. Venables hands went from the canes head to (y/n)s face almost instantly after their lips connected, the cane making a loud sound as it fell over and hit the floor. (Y/n) was speechless, they brought their hand up to Venables cheek and placed their other on her waist to hold her as the two shared this embrace. 

"Their lips, they're so soft, and their touch, it's so gentle. Is this love? Is this what people feel when they're in love? Why is it them though? What makes them different to everyone else?" Venables mind was trying to make sense of the things she was feeling but to no avail. Their lips parted briefly as Venable moved her hands to their waist to pull them closer, their lips connected once again and (y/n) kissed her with such a tenderness that made her mind race even more. 

"What is this feeling? Why do I feel warm? Why do I feel safe? I feel...vulnerable, I hate it but...it's irresistible, like I want to let myself fall because I know they'll be there to catch me." Venables thoughts were interrupted as (y/n) ran their tongue across hers which she gladly accepted as she did the same. "We're making out, god it feels so good." She thought, her body feeling more and more relaxed the longer they kissed. (Y/n) then ran their hands slowly up her back, their fingers tracing up her spine. "Shit. What the fuck am I doing?!" Venable thought as she pulled away from (y/n), her breathing becoming heavy. (Y/n) stood there shocked, their breathing also being heavy. "I'm so sorry!" They said, holding their head down in shame. "No, it's not your fault." Venable responded, also feeling shocked by the entire situation. (Y/n) leaned down and lifted up Venables cane and handed to her, "I'm so sorry Ms Venable, I'll leave you in peace." They said as they went to leave, Venable grabbed their arm and looked at them with vulnerability being the only distinguishing thing that (y/n) could see in her eyes. "Ms Vena-" they tried to speak but Venable cut them off, "I have scoliosis." She admitted, feeling shame flush her face. (Y/n) turned to face her, silence filling the room, they don't know why but they found themselves moving forward and embraced her, they held her in their arms, feeling protective over her. 

"They're hugging me? This....this is the first time in years that anybody has actually held me. It feels so right but do they feel the same way?" Venables thoughts began to race again. "(Y/n), do you find it ugly?" She asked, trying to sound tough but her emotions betrayed her as her voice came out sounding soft. (Y/n) gently ran their hand up her spine once again, "not in the slightest, you're beautiful just the way you are ma'am." They said, their voice also sounding soft. Venable pulled back and stared into (y/n)s deep (y/e/c) eyes and smiled slightly. "I lo-" She paused, her inner voice taking over, "do not tell them you love them, don't you dare show that weakness to anybody!" She scolded herself mentally. "But what should I do? Should I tell them? No, I can't." Her inner voice battling with itself on what she should do. Suddenly after an awkward amount of silence (y/n) spoke, "I really like you Ms Venable, I think you're incredibly beautiful and you're so strong, you're the only here who's maintained a calm attitude even though it's the end of the world. The others think you're a bitch but I don't look at you and see that, when I look at you I see a strong woman who's approval I find myself so desperately needing. I know it's dumb and you'll probably be mad but I just thought I'd tell you my secret since you told me yours." (Y/n) confessed, their eyes fixed on Venables as they spoke. 

"Did I-did I just hear that right? They...like me?" Her thoughts tried to process what she'd just heard. "I don't expect special treatment nor do I want it, I just want you to know that someone here really cares about you and I'll gladly do whatever it is you need, as long as I have the pleasure of being in your company, because that alone is more than enough for me." (Y/n) said, their cheeks becoming red from blushing. Venable didn't waste anytime before speaking, "I like you too, it's confusing because for as long as I've lived, I've never felt this way, never felt these kind of emotions but...you....you make it feel real, you make love feel real." Venable said, staring into their eyes like they were searching for an answers to all of the questions she'd been asking herself since the two had met that fateful day when the nuclear bombs hit. (Y/n) broke eye contact to look away, feeling so hot from blushing even harder upon hearing Venables words. 

"These feelings though, they're not me." Venable said softly, doubt filling her voice. (Y/n) looked into her eyes once more and leaned forward to kiss her again, even softer than the first time, the kiss was brief as (y/n) moved from her lips to her ear, "those feelings ARE you, they're the you that deserves love." They whispered, running their hands up Venables body to her cheeks, slowly ghosting across her skin. Venable pulled her head back to meet with (y/n)s eyes, "I deserve love?" She asked. (Y/n) nodded and smiled sweetly. "I'm not used to feeling so open and vulnerable." She muttered. "Shhh it's okay, you can be vulnerable with me, I won't hurt you. I'll never hurt you" (Y/n) said quietly, trying to ease the side of Venable they knew was fighting to get control, the side of her who wanted to be closed off and hidden behind a thick steel wall where nobody could reach her emotionally. Venable continued to stare into her loves eyes as she smiled, it was a smile that she'd never worn before, a smile of happiness, pure and real happiness. "You....you really like me?" She muttered. (Y/n) nodded slowly, "I have since we first met, you always stood out to me, I just wanted to know you and I wanted to be around you all the time, you fascinated me but I never thought you'd ever want to know me the way I wanted to know you." They said, their voice still being soft and gentle. Venable leaned forward and kissed (y/n), holding them tightly as she kissed them deeper. She savoured the taste of their lips and wished that she could pause time so she could live in that moment forever. 

"I've never known love. That was until I met them and now, I never want to feel anything but their love for the rest of my life."


End file.
